The song captures all my feelings.for the line about "before I go." describes the moment last week that I kissed my wife goodbye and went to my dad's home three hours away, to give her some space.
While there are no guarantees, I do feel there is hope for us. It was something that truly shook her and very nearly ended any and all hope for a future for us right then and there. Last week my wife learned something very hurtful about my behavior related to sexual addiction. I have heard this song many times, but today I listened to it,with my eyes closed, so as to not be distracted by the lame visual plot of the video, and my heart open to try and see if it really described my situation. But it definitely helped me, unknowingly, forgive myself somewhat. Needless to say the song is very special to us both & I still cry when I hear it. Funny thing is from the time she got here until ? I had always told her she was the reason I was born.just to give birth to her. And she still loves me!!! When i quit crying that day on the side of the hwy I called her & told her about the song & said she was my reason. But I've never felt any worse than when I think back to those years & all the hell I put her through. Now she's not crazy about it anymore now that she's 36. Other than when I was working we did & went everywhere together. I was a single mom by the time she was 6 months old & I loved it. But along she came & was the best thing I ever did to this day. Ask my doctor when I was 17 to fix me so no babies. God gave me the most well behaved, happy, smart, easy going child there has ever been.
She has always been so very special & amazing to me.
YOU ARE THE REASON LYRICS CRACK
All due my decent in the world of crack at age 30. My daughter, from the ages 9-17,watched my deterioration from being a momma to being someone she couldn't count on, couldn't be sure i'd be home or awake, couldn't be sure if there'd be a home. The kind of feeling that overwhelming guilt brings when you can't forgive yourself even if the other person has. Not the kind of sadness attributed to depression that just won't go away. By the time it was over I had pulled to the right shoulder of the hwy because I was crying so mournfully because every line in this song was exactly how i felt more often than not at some point during most days. When this song came out my daughter & I were in a much much better place relationship wise, but the vert first time i heard it in the car while I was driving. If we are truly loving and unselfish, we can let them go with a loving heart and open arms. But for whatever reason, it is their choice to stay or go. Sometimes they leave for their own selfish reasons. Sometimes they leave us for reasons that can be traced to our behavior. In either case are we not still the selfish children we seeks to change? Sometimes people leave us. Or, do we change to gain the favor of the ones we have lost. The question is whether or not we change for change sake, i.e., to do the right thing for ourselves in other words to become better people because it serves a high order spiritual end.
We see that our selfish behavior has driven one we love away, thus we are motivated to change. A painful ending of a cherished relationship (albeit cherished in retrospect) can often become the catalyst of change for a person.
The good that can come from the dissolution of a relationship have been the fodder of many artistic works. The lyrics stop short of revealing the extent of the hurtful behavior, but hint that the behavior merited an end of the relationship. The lyrics demonstrate how people are often selfish during the course of a relationship only to have the relationship end as a result of their behavior. This song is a melancholy mix of regret and rebirth.
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